Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Donald Trump

Is there anything more mesmerizing than looking at Donald Trump's lid? How the heck does that mane stay put? Does he have a secret endorsement deal with Dippity Do? It's like the hair starts at mid-scalp, make a move towards the browline, and then, suddenly, does a 180 and makes a b-line for the back row. Nice lettuce, Trump. Of course, this could all be envy as I'm on a steady diet of Nioxin to stem my own hair's ebb tide.

Minnesota Timberwolves

What the hell happened to Minnesota over the past two years? I've been dumbfounded as I've watched the abysmal slide of the T-Wolves from perennial contender to laughingstock. After two seasons of mediocrity...wait...mediocrity would be an improvement...two seasons of NCAA-esque ball, I've pinpointed the problem:

Lurch...er...Kevin McHale

When he played for Bird Island-Lake Lillian as a high-schooler, he was good. When he was perennial sixth man of the year in Boston, he was good. When he joined the Wolves as GM, he crapped out like a banana left in the sun for a week.

Get rid of McHale...so we can keep KG. And KG, stay in Minnie...we want you...and Lurch can go back up north and coach a middle school team.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

This is free?

So I picked up a copy of USA Today before heading into the gym at the Hilton Phoenix Airport for my workout. I decided to actually read all of it, not just the sports section, and found an interesting article in the Money section...or was it the Life...I don't recall...on blogging. We all have a vague idea of what blogging is...but I had no idea I could drink the kool-aid and create a blog F.O.C. Like Homer Simpson says, "I think I can afford 'free'," so I've swallowed the blue pill (or is it the red?) and the journey starts here. I'm sure this will compete regularly for the "World's Most Bland Blog" on a regular basis, but who cares? It's free. Enjoy the silence.

One more thing: When in Phoenix, do as the Phoenicians (is that what they're called? We're so far from water here, so that can't be it) do: Stay away from the Phoenix Coyotes games. We went there tonight and I noticed that the seats are maroon. I noticed this because so many of them were empty. They had an interesting little scoreboard thingy called "bubble vision" which as far as I can tell, simply means "look at bald men through a skewed lens that enlarges their bald heads and makes them look like aliens." Oh, and let the hilarity ensue.